I guess it has been a while since my last posting, but I have been so busy. We are getting things ready for the baby and we are still really excited. I, personally, have been some ups and some downs. Satan really knows how to hit ya where it hurts. Most days I have been really excited about this adoption and things are looking really good. We are emailing the birth mom and we even get to meet her on the 22nd of this month. So that has been great, but then in strolls Satan putting these awful thoughts into my head. At moments I have been so scared that this adoption wont work out. That the birth mom will change her mind at the last minute. I have been there before and it sucks!!! I really dont know if my heart could handle that again. I start thinking that with my luck it will probablly fall through again. BAD, BAD, BAD Satan. Someone needs to ground him. anyway I am also more afraid of disapointing everyone else, I know it hurt my family a lot too and I dont want them to be sad. AGGHHHH! I think I really need everyones prayers. I did have aaron give me a blessing and I know heavenly father is ready to bless me, but i just cant help being scared and I wonder if I am just human and this is normal or if I need some more faith. sorry I needed to vent!
On to more enjoyable things. Halloween was fun. Aaron and I created a costume. We made a vending machine costume. I will add some pics that I stole from other friends blogs (sorry-my pics turned out just awful). The costume was a hit! Aaron wore the costume and I was the vendor that stocked the candy. It actually despensed candy. The kids loved it. On halloween there was a party at the school and was fun a really fun work day. The kids at school are great. We went to the trunk or treat (where we had lots of random people take pictures of our costume) and then we played video games with my little brother kort and his friend and then we bowling. It was really fun.
Like I said, before we have been emailing the birthmom and I really enjoying the emails. I feel like I am really starting to get to know her. She seems like such a neat person. I can not wait to meet her on the 22nd. I hope the weather is good for travel. My boss has been amazing about the adoption. I am getting maternity leave (6 to 8 weeks) and when I come back to work I get to bring the baby to the school nursery. What a weight off of my shoulders. I will be able to still work but be close enough to my baby that I can see him any time during the day. How, Cool!!!! This job has been such a blessing. One thing is that I actually enjoy my job and the people I work with are so great! Anyway enjoy the random pictures and hopefully you will hear from me sooner next time.
6 comments:
Sara I am so excited for you guys! What you are feeling- well, I'm sure it's normal. I've never adopted (not yet) but I think every new mom has feelings of fears and doubts before they bring their new babies home. You guys are going to be great parents! Keep your chin up- we're praying for you!!
Loves!!
I'm sure I would worry too, especially after your other experience. But I think it's going to be perfectly fine. We've been praying for you since we found out and we'll keep truckin' with that.
Let me clarify..when I said that I would worry too, I meant that I'm sure I'd feel the same way, having the same fears...not that you should be worrying. Does that make sense? I hope I didn't make you feel worse.
We are so excited for you. That fear is normal you are feeling. Satan is very good at what he does, we just have to remember that God is better at his. Just rely on the Lord and all will work out. But you are in our prayers and we can't wait to have children the same age.
Man we miss you guys!!! Those costumes are awesome!!!!
I understand why you would be worried. Don't let Satan get you down. (I know easier said than done) My sister was very scared to get pregnant again after having a miscarriage. When she did get pregnant again she was scared to tell people because she was afraid that she would miscarry again. She has a beautiful little boy who is over a year old now. I am praying that your story has a happy ending as well. :)
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