Baby Mama!

Aaron, Me, and Lavinia (Our Babys Birth Mom)

Wow! What an emotional weekend! But it was great! Aaron and I went to Utah to have a face to face meeting with the birth mom of our baby and it was such a wonderful meeting! We were so nervous. What would we say? Should I hug her or shake her hand when I meet her? Ahhh! Well when I first saw her there was an immediate connection we gave each other a big hug. We were so worried about what to say and it turned our Lavinia (birth mom) loves to talk (an answer to my prayers). A case worker From LDSFS was there and she help facilitate the meeting and we even found out that the caseworkers husband (elder christensen) served part of his mission in laramie-somewhere between 2002-2004. Small world. We saw a picture and I totally remembered him. Anyway-back to the meeting- Lavinia showed us lots of pictures and we gave her pictures of our family. We found out a little bit about the birth father and even saw a picture (he has really blue eyes- if you have seen the new james bond movie- his eyes are the same blue as James bond- Very pretty blue). He is also very musically talented. Lavinia told us how she searched through over 3000 profiles and half way through she stopped on us and Knew that we were the couple, but thought she should look through the rest of the profiles. She kept coming back to our profile. WoW! All I can say is that prayers work and everyone has to promise to keep on praying for this adoption to go through this time. I cannot even express how much love I feel from my family and friends. And also my second family-my ward (church) family. It has truly been a blessing to be in this ward, because most of you know what we have gone through and I know that you will be there for us no matter what happens. Thank you! okay I am off track again. Lets see.....We all decided that we will get a phone call from Lavinia when she goes into labor. She has fast deliverys and the baby will probabbly be born before we get there. But we will go directly to the hospital to spend a few hours with Lavinia and the baby and then off to my sisters house to anxiously await the next twenty four hours. This is the time she gets with just her and the baby and by law 24 hours has to be given before she can sign any papers. Stressful. Maybe I will just have the drs. just give me something that will knock me out for the next 24 hours. lol! My sister and her husband have so graciously offered their basement as a place of residence while this whole thing is going through. We actually have to stay in utah for 5 to 10 days until all the paperwork get approved.

Well anyway we stayed with our wonderful friends Mike and Lanae (we stayed up way too late). It was great to joke around and visit. I also got to visit with my sister and her husband and adorible little Abi! We went to dinner at a restaurant-that a very unusual name (lol), and then when to look at the new house they are buying. It was so great to just spend time with them. I miss them all so much. And my niece-who couldnt love her? She is just so darn cute. I just always hope she knows how special she is to me. I think that when you dont have kids, Heavenly father puts special children in your lives, that you can love and take care of (and spoil). I have been really lucky to have so many nieces and nephews to love. anyway i did find out that i may be kind of a paranoid mother. When shanna and justin where showing us the house Abi kept wanting to go down the stairs (and she can do a pretty good job by herself) and the whole time I was nervous that she would lose her balance and fall. paranoid or normal??? lol! That may be the question of my life! Abi is also so cute when she gets mad (I am sure mom and dad dont think it is cute all of the time) . Being close to two and not have all the right words to describe frustration is difficult for any little one. But she makes me laugh when makes fists, scrunches up her face, shakes a little, and yells in frustration. LOL! I wish i had a video of it!

Okay so its been a few days....

I guess it has been a while since my last posting, but I have been so busy. We are getting things ready for the baby and we are still really excited. I, personally, have been some ups and some downs. Satan really knows how to hit ya where it hurts. Most days I have been really excited about this adoption and things are looking really good. We are emailing the birth mom and we even get to meet her on the 22nd of this month. So that has been great, but then in strolls Satan putting these awful thoughts into my head. At moments I have been so scared that this adoption wont work out. That the birth mom will change her mind at the last minute. I have been there before and it sucks!!! I really dont know if my heart could handle that again. I start thinking that with my luck it will probablly fall through again. BAD, BAD, BAD Satan. Someone needs to ground him. anyway I am also more afraid of disapointing everyone else, I know it hurt my family a lot too and I dont want them to be sad. AGGHHHH! I think I really need everyones prayers. I did have aaron give me a blessing and I know heavenly father is ready to bless me, but i just cant help being scared and I wonder if I am just human and this is normal or if I need some more faith. sorry I needed to vent!

On to more enjoyable things. Halloween was fun. Aaron and I created a costume. We made a vending machine costume. I will add some pics that I stole from other friends blogs (sorry-my pics turned out just awful). The costume was a hit! Aaron wore the costume and I was the vendor that stocked the candy. It actually despensed candy. The kids loved it. On halloween there was a party at the school and was fun a really fun work day. The kids at school are great. We went to the trunk or treat (where we had lots of random people take pictures of our costume) and then we played video games with my little brother kort and his friend and then we bowling. It was really fun.

Like I said, before we have been emailing the birthmom and I really enjoying the emails. I feel like I am really starting to get to know her. She seems like such a neat person. I can not wait to meet her on the 22nd. I hope the weather is good for travel. My boss has been amazing about the adoption. I am getting maternity leave (6 to 8 weeks) and when I come back to work I get to bring the baby to the school nursery. What a weight off of my shoulders. I will be able to still work but be close enough to my baby that I can see him any time during the day. How, Cool!!!! This job has been such a blessing. One thing is that I actually enjoy my job and the people I work with are so great! Anyway enjoy the random pictures and hopefully you will hear from me sooner next time.